N3v3r 1s 4 long t1m3
by Dancing Mask
Summary: Karkat and Terezi accidentally bond over Nic Cage movies and drunken baking in the middle of the night. Slightly cheesy fluff, you already know if this sort of thing is your cup of tea or not. No warnings or triggers, unless you count Karkat's colorful swearing.


Just some cheesy Karkat/Terezi fluff, it turned out half crack and half feelings and junk. Spoilers for early act 6, and my deepest apologies to anyone who ships Dave with Terezi. Homestuck and all its characters belong to Andrew Hussie, I just had fun with them for a lil bit. Let me know if you liked it, all my love to any reviewers!

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"Remind me why the hell we're watching this?" Karkat crossed his arms grumpily as he spoke.

"C'mon, he's gotten half of us into them. It's not like there's much else to do on this meteor anyway, right?" Terezi poked him annoyingly. She had a point there.

"But why Nicolas Cage? Of all the movies from Earth to pick, this one has to be the worst possible choice you could have made in the history of all timelines, doomed, parallel, or fucking sideways."

"All the humans have black feelings for him, how bad can he be?" Terezi settled in on the couch, already knowing she'd won.

"If John and Vriska like him he can't be any good," he mumbled, sitting down next to her. The couch wasn't very large, so they were sitting close together in the dark room. "You can't even WATCH movies, why are you so bent on this?"

"I can smell it," she insisted, leaning in close and giving him a sniff. Terezi laughed as he flinched away.

"You're acting weird. Weirder for you I mean. Not really weird in the broader sense, considering we've spent the last year on a meteor flying between dimensions with a bunch of grubbing aliens. Fuck, I think the whole concept of weird has lost all meaning. My future self was right about that. I fucking hate it when he's right, future me is such an arrogant show off, and he never shuts up either. Like he really thinks-"

"Karkat," Terezi chimed in, poking him in the eye as she gently shushed him, having missed his lips entirely. He swore she played up her blind schtick on purpose sometimes. "You're way too high-strung. Anyone ever tell you that?"

"You did, this morning. And the day before that." He rubbed his eye angrily, not seeing what she was getting at.

"I'm saying you should do something to take that edge off!" She gave him one of those huge shit-eating grins she did so well, cackling.

"Oh god, you didn't get into the slime pies, did you?" The last thing they needed was another junkie going on a killing spree when they ran out.

"Of course not, you cherry-blooded fool. That stuffs poison. I found something even better though!" She hiccuped and began chuckling to herself under her breath. "Wanna sip?" She held up a familiar bottle, causing Karkat to smack his head into his palms.

"Oh Jegus's mighty crotch-bulge, that's Rose and Kanaya's shit. Why'd you have to go and touch that?" And sure enough, it was Rose's home-made alcohol, whatever that was. And there was only half of the bottle left as well. "Okay, get up." He didn't wait for her reply, grabbing Terezi by the arm and dragging her off the couch.

"Where are we going now?"

"The kitchen, to get some food in you before you hurt yourself. You're blind drunk as well as blind, fuckass." Terezi shrugged him off and continued drinking as they walked, beating him with her cane when he tried to take the bottle off her. Still, she followed him to the kitchen willingly, which made her the most obedient troll under his leadership. Admittedly, that was kind of sad.

"Okay," Karkat resisted the urge to sigh as he opened the empty cupboards and pantries. Naturally nothing was ready, who would ever be responsible and prepare food with any kind of foresight at all? "I'm going to have to cook something, sit still."

"I can help," insisted the seer of mind, tottering to the stove. She tripped on her cane, falling on Karkat's shoulder as she laughed. She was very warm.

"Like hell you can, you're worse than a baby grubling stuck in the caves. Seriously, sit down and let me do something productive for once." He shrugged her off and busied himself getting out eggs and flour, suddenly uncomfortable. He wasn't sure why, but he was reluctant to turn back and look at her. What the fuck was going on? She was all about order and now here she was getting drunk and giggling over everything. But it was more than that- they'd hardly spoken in weeks and suddenly she wanted to watch a movie with him? Lately she'd been spending all of her time with _that_ guy.

"What's up with you and Strider?" The words blurted out of his mouth before he could think. Real fuckin' smooth, Vantas.

"Whatever we want to be up with us is what's up, sheesh!" She replied indignantly, pushing up her glasses as she glared in his general direction. He saw she was now sitting up on the bench next to where he'd have to be cooking. Kakat frowned and started throwing shit in the pan, pouring an entire bottle of grub sauce in there. "Why," she asked, grinning even more evilly than usual, "does it bother you?

"I can't believe you just asked that. If we were talking online I'd have to change the colour of my font to the same shade of green a dead musclebeast bleeds when trash like Equius get too excited and beat them to death with their own throbbing crotch bulge, just to convey exactly just how offensive that question is to me. That's how offended I am."

Terezi sighed. "You never change, do you? Changing the subject or going off on cute lil tangents whenever you can to hide what you really think. Like how you hide the colour of your blood under that ugly pavement grey."

"Hey, you're the one changing the subject," Karkat pointed at her angrily, realised how moot that gesture was, and continued. "Always bringing up my blood... I don't see how that's anyone's business."

Terezi leaned in closer, to drive her point home. "Because it shouldn't be a big deal! It's delicious cherry and there's only a handful of trolls left alive, who cares about the hierarchy at all when both of the only royalty we knew are dead?"

"You think I don't know that?" Ugh. Karkat turned away from the blind troll and shoved the pie in the oven, muttering to himself all the while. She really couldn't let things go. "Gimme that." He took a swig from the bottle, finishing off the rest in one go. The two sat there in silence for a moment, the girl on the kitchen bench, the boy slumped over the adjacent counter.

"It's okay," Karkat mumbled. "You and him, I mean. S'long as it makes you happy."

"Karkat..." Terezi trailed off.

"After all..." Karkat stood up on a chair on shaky legs, discovering he was even more of a lightweight than Rose on the booze. "I'm telling you:

"We are never, ever, ever, getting back together!

Weeeeeeeee~ are NEVER EVER EVER, getting back together! Like, ever!" The knight of blood fell off the chair laughing, unable to continue. Terezi sighed.

"You're such a dork sometimes." She made to help him up, but tripped and fell on top of him instead, sending them both into another fit of laughter. "You're already as dronk as I am," she accused.

"You mean drunk," he countered.

"Close your eyes," commanded the short-horned girl on his chest. Karkat did as she suggested, heart jumping around like a jackhammer on christmas morning. He could sense her face inches away from his... Was she going to kiss him? Just as his hopes got up, he felt something wet slide across his entire face.

"Eurgh, did you just lick me?"

"I thought I'd never get another chance to taste your lil chocolate freckles." Terezi wasn't ashamed in the slightest as he wiped his cheek, looking up at her sourly. She licked her lips, a teasing smile on her features.

"I thought you were fine with Strider's liquorice-black glasses, what d'you need me for?" he asked with all the tact and grace he was known for.

"Again with Dave, why do you keep bringing him up?" Terezi's smiled vanished. "I thought you hated me anyway!"

"What, no! I'd never- well-"

"Just say it if you have red feelings for me. It's really not as complicated as you like to make things." Terezi looked down at him, a curious expression on her face, her tone commanding.

"I- who the hell knows- _fuck_." Karkat felt his cheeks turning as flushed as his thoughts.

"I'm listening." Terezi Pyrope crossed her arms, somehow managing to give him a stern knowing look through her glasses. She hiccuped, the smell of the booze surprisingly sweet.

"Okay, maybe I got greedy, and wanted you in more than one quadrant like a stupid child. Once. A little bit. But hell no I don't want a caliginous relationship with you! There are way more hateable fuckasses out there, too many to count. You're not hateable."

"Then what am I?" God damn it, she was enjoying this wasn't she. It was hard to keep the words going. He was having trouble focusing his eyes to look at her, or keep track of what he'd already said. Lousy booze. Gritting his teeth like it caused him physical pain, Karkat started to speak, then swallowed.

"You're the opposite of hateable, obviously. You know. Lo- Pitiable."

The short-haired girl raised one eyebrow, a smile on her lips. "You just can't bring yourself to say it, can you?" She giggled. It was kind of cute, in a very Karkat-fashion. "Oh well, close enough for me." She leaned in close, grabbed him by the back of the head, and licked his face again.

"Tha- that's now how troll Will Smith does it." For some reason he'd really expected a kiss that time.

"You'll have to show me how he does it later then," she replied, getting off of him. "I was winking then, by the way." Karkat snorted, unable to help himself from laughing.

"But what about Strider? Are you and him moirails now? Or are you done with him? Did he break up with you? Is that why you're here now?" Terezi shushed him once more, poking him in the other eye.

"Learn to let things go, Karkles. I was with him because I didn't know what you wanted, dummy. Do I have to pap shoosh you every time we talk seriously?"

"Fuck you and fuck your paps with a used bucket. I'll be fine, just stop poking me in the eye. I know you did that on purpose."

"There's the Karkat I know!" She smiled brightly, teeth showing as she helped him up. Karkat nearly fell over again the moment he was up, leaning heavily on her shoulders. Good thing he was so short.

"Is that pie ready yet? I'd like to sober up now."


End file.
